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Thread: Poem: Tears of Snow

  1. #1
    Senior Member Frai7ty's Avatar
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    Default Poem: Tears of Snow

    Wow, it's been a wile since I've posted here. Well, thought I would post some more poetry. Tell me what you think.

    Tears of Snow

    I want to know why.
    Why I keep going.
    Dredging through all this pain.
    How I keep going through all this.
    Why I haven't fallen into the abys.

    Is it because I know my Heaven.
    Or simply because I've lived my hell.
    Can it by that I still I have something left to do.
    Or is this just torture for my sins.
    Or just pain unto joy.

    My dreams are no longer safe inside.
    Broken in a whisper from the outside.
    I no longer know where I reside.
    Lost and wandering.
    No place to go.
    Back to the winter.
    Full of the tears.
    Tears of snow

  2. #2
    A Light in your Darkness Pamela's Avatar
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    It is not bad for freestyle and full of emotion.
    I mostly see pain and confusion,from what was written.


    A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning!!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Frai7ty's Avatar
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    Well, pain and confusion was what was felt when it was written. Thx for the complement .

  4. #4
    A Light in your Darkness Pamela's Avatar
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    ^-^ you expressed it well in very potent words,that evoked emotion in the reader.I have to compliment you on that for a simple reason.
    Most do not have much of a comand of the English language,nor the ability to express themselves.


    A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning!!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Tweak293's Avatar
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    This is a very good poem, yet for some reason depressing? Sorry dude, you have talent, but seriously, it couldn't be more EMO....

  6. #6
    Senior Member Frai7ty's Avatar
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    Yea, I know it's really EMO. That was actually one of the reason's I almost didn't post it.

  7. #7
    A Light in your Darkness Pamela's Avatar
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    That was the whole point of the poem.....
    He WAS emotional when it was written.


    A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning!!

  8. #8
    Moderator Nex's Avatar
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    lovely, sounds like it came from the heart, has it got to do with something going on in your life?



  9. #9
    Senior Member Frai7ty's Avatar
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    Indeed it does. Not as bad as it sounds right now (I'm working through it...). Actually Nexus, it's somewhat like whats going on with you (Just way farther along).

  10. #10
    Moderator Nex's Avatar
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    i feel ya man



  11. #11
    A Light in your Darkness Pamela's Avatar
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    Even though the tribulations of your life are tormenting you,remember this?

    You have talent.You are worthy of love and respect.Your poetry is evokative and very thought provoking.

    This is the point of poetry...to convey to the reader the emotions they were feeling at that time.

    Please do not stop writing it.

    On a personal note I hope the relationship problems are solved.

    You are a good person...please keep expressing your feelings in poetry.
    Not only is it theraputic...it gives the rest of us insight to what you are going though.

    I can not speak for others...but know I care,and you have talent,as well as very good comand of the English language.

    Do not let this defeat you,you are better than that.

    As for your poem...I loved it.
    Last edited by Pamela; 04-26-2007 at 01:28 AM.


    A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning!!

  12. #12
    Senior Member Tweak293's Avatar
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    when shit gets ya down, write some depressing poetry... that always works wonders! rofl

  13. #13
    Senior Member Frai7ty's Avatar
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    Expressing how you feel in writing, or poetry for that matter, helps you cope with life. At times, it also lets you realize what you need to do to move on.

  14. #14
    A Light in your Darkness Pamela's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frai7ty View Post
    Expressing how you feel in writing, or poetry for that matter, helps you cope with life. At times, it also lets you realize what you need to do to move on.
    I concure,as do journals and diaries.

    My latest poem:A Heart Softened
    She is afraid to open herself to him,oh how can she dare?
    Often a heart softens,when touched,with tenderness.
    It will soar to joy,knowing it is held by someone that cares.
    A soft heart and affection is what she will feel for him,yes.
    Thoughts about love may lead to a sweet caress,and longingful stares.
    Hoping the other is as infatuated with you,as you for them.
    Tossing caution aside as a silly notion,
    You open your own soul and expose your own heart.
    Basking and dancing in the feelings,things are now in motion.
    Amazed that your timid love did not try this from the start.
    Your heart falls in the heat of sweet feelings,spiraling from control.
    You almost weep, but he is there to catch your heart.
    As he tucks it safely into a corner of his soul.
    I hope you liked it.-Pamela


    A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning!!

  15. #15
    Senior Member Frai7ty's Avatar
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    Your poem was beautifully written, as always. It... reminds me of things that are going on in my life. Great use of the English language.

  16. #16
    A Light in your Darkness Pamela's Avatar
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    Why thank you sir! Poetry is about expressing yourself,it sometimes will touch another life or heart in ways you can not imagine.


    A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning!!

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