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Thread: Hmm, wonder if this will get read...

  1. #1

    Default Hmm, wonder if this will get read...

    I'm just going to apoligize now... you'll see.

    "He's been waking up with his rod in his hands."

    "His work ethic has slackened in some places and he's shown interest elsewhere."

    "He calls himself secretly training after hours."

    "He has energy to burn for days."

    "His expression is not as light as it used to be."

    "He's been thinking when he does finally sit down."

    "Brethren, it's been decided. It's time for the talk."

    "I don't know whether or not we've been loathing for this day to come or not, but we
    damn sure have to deal with it now."

    "Well, when's his next 'down' time?"

    "Who's turn is it to keep track?"

    "Mine and it's right about... now!"

    "His attention wavers. We must be off at once. Brethen, roll out!"

    And so, the Brothers Kourtes set out to find their charge. These brawn but nimble Digimen sprinted forth into the wood. Up the treacherous incline of Mons Omega, they began their swift search. Taking care to check each safety zone that they's ordained for their pupil, they soon found him bathing. To no one's surprise,he was still holding his rod.

    "I'm near finished," called out his angelic alto with touches of bass clef, "Is something the matter?"

    "No, not at all. It's no rush, we just wanted to have a powwow with you."

    "Oh, awesome."

    "Hey, how've you been feeling?"

    "I... don't really know, you know? Things just don't feel the same anymore."

    "Well, talk it out."

    "We're here for you."

    "It's just something amiss. Like the balance is awry somewhere. It's been plaguing my thoughts and the sleep I do get isn't peaceful. No sleep and all, but there's still this warehouse of energy that says, 'Go do something!' To tell the truth, I'd really like to attack someone right now... for no reason, but the thrill."

    "Well, DZ, there's something here we need to talk about. It's obviously time."

    "What's up?"

    The wind blew and the Digimen exchanged looks with each other to see who would make that final step. The moon was briefly shielded by a cloud and as quickly as it was covered, the suspence in the pool rose as the temperature and bubbles began to boil over, the moon shone freely.

    "DemiZeusmon, you are destined for a throne."

    "And no regular one either."

    "How can a throne be regular? To be king is of highest honor."

    "The throne in which you will sit pales all others in comparison. But, we can tell you
    no more than that. We can only direct your path to the Oracle."

    "What we do tell you, never forget it."

    "You are patient, always use that to your advantage."

    "You are young and beginning to be hotheaded, meditate daily, and do not allow your self to do something emotionally charged; for you will endanger yourself and the ones around you."

    "You are also growing into a man. You want to be a man that everyone respects. You'll gain no respect lusting after anything."

    "The enemy will have recognizable faces, you must still confront them with courage."

    "If there is anyone you allow to get close to you, remember, you must put self aside and look after the welfare of others."

    "Promise us," these caregivers of highest stature bellowed out in unison.
    His head reeling from the news and wisdom he's recieved in turn, he knows that they only have his wellbeing at heart.

    "I... promise, but how am I-"

    "Wait. What did we just say about patience?"

    His head bowed.

    "Think nothing of it, we know the place that's coming from."

    "Listen, you must begin with the Oracle, she will direct your path. Whatever she says, you do to the best of your ability and never compromise."

    "You would do best to leave now, lest you have to deal with the denizens of the mountain."

    "But, before you leave, we have this for you." An orb of light appeared and disapated around a herb compound.

    "This is Stacure Weed. It will only ever have two leaves. One is for you to use, and the other will grow the other one overnight."

    "This is a very rare plant, so never use both leaves or you'll be stuck out."

    "Now go."

    As DemiZeusmon looked around, he felt something down on the inside. That little something told him to just go with it, and that he did. As he rose from the moonlit spring, he waved and collected his breath and belongings... and walked toward the cave...



    "I'm Jack Johnson."

    "And I'm John Jackson."

    "And this is the channel 21 Noon News."

    "And for our top story we'll take you live to the musuem district with Asian reporter Trisha Takanowa."

    "Thanks John and Jack, I'm here at the opening of the exhibit showcasing the findings of Archaeologist Mary Brillo. She claims to have found the remains of another ancient civilization, that of the Digidestined..."

    "Well, I see it's time to get ready."

    The 16 year old rose from his place in the kitchen and walked to his room to shower. As the pulls out his clothes, he goes to turn the water on. His room, not too much cleaner than average, passes inspection from Mom everytime. Everytime he cleans it, he discovers something new, but that isn't the case right now. He walked out to the balcony and watch the people below with no purpose but to catch the city breeze. Smelling the steam from inside, he walk back in and began to...

    Listen for his stop on the bus, which was more crowded than usual. 'I'm glad Mom is bringing such droves to the museum. It must really be something big.'

    "Museum District."

    "My stop." As he walked off the bus, he saw the line and the door that granted him safe passage. He looked down and saw the credit card that allowed it all. 'Visa, it's everywhere I needs to be, baby.'

    "You made it!"

    "Like I was really gonna miss this."

    "Oh!" she gasped as she embraced her son, "Look, I have a surprise for you that only a select few have seen. Let's go."

    "Awesome." A jagged statement from one being brought down secret passageways. Well away from the eager throng, they stop at a door.

    "Wow, Mom. Awesome door, awesome, awesome, awesome."

    "She raised her eyebrow as she curtly said, "Then, get a load of this." The room lit up as she opened the door to reveal a Rosetta Stone-like mineral, encased in safety glass. The symbols engraved on it shimmered as they walked to it.

    "Wow. Have you deciphered it yet?"

    "Nope. Yet I know exactly what it says."

    "Wait, why is the case so much bigger than the stone?"

    "Because the rest has yet to be escavated."

    "Hmm... well, go on. Tell me what it says."

    "Evil known as Armon vs Ruler known as Zeus
    One ravages the land in pleasure, One takes pleasure kicking caboose

    Though conflict waged is even, banishment will not commence
    'Til Holiest One humbles and take human for himself

    For her aid will be awesome and her power limitless
    Evil's fall imminent seeming, Armon's tactic honorless

    Job complete to her knowledge, portal ready for homegoing
    Up crept Armon's last ditch effort, and underhand barragging

    Zeus' righteous fury caused an atmospheric change
    Shift of data damage, nothing; shift of data all the same..."

    "Ah, but there's more."

    A blinding light fills the room as the winged, horned otter appeared, and with it, the other half of the stone.

    "Allow me to translate:
    For the saving push had transfered chromosomal 'bilities
    To lay dormant in her body, changing hands to young Crimi

    Blessed She now safely sheltered, business still left to attend to
    Mighty Ruler banished Evil just betwixt a seal or two

    But, alas, oh, if only victory not bittersweet
    Only wholly made characters not subject to reset, tout souit

    Ruler's resetting, Evil's freeing, yet in still, a silver lining
    Only Schattemon; posessive egg, not the full grown entity

    This day our Zeus still roams, strength and memory are lacking
    'Til the day an oricle sends the Destined one packing..."

    The awed looks of mortal moved her to say "Yeah, I know. The prophecy writer's were off that day."

    "Um."

    "I am Makalimon," A new stone appeared in another case, "This thing. I am the Oracle of the Digital World (part of it anyway) And you, young Crimi, must go now. All he stories your mother told you were true, though, I must apoligize, for things have vastly changed since then."

    The stunned look on my face must have said all of nothing as she said "Well, here we go, be back soon."

    "DemiZeusmon, you're here, excellent. Look, the bottom line is this: Zeus, if you want your throne and the answers of your past, you must find the bits of your being around the Digital World, but to do as such, you need this guy. He looks as if he ate his Wheaties on the way here, so I'll deem him Crimitheus."

    As he looked down at himself, he saw the clothes he once wore now the gladiator garb of old. He'd actually grown another six inches, and surprisingly enough, he actually filled it out. Well. His hair had grown to be long and luxurious and his tan was just...

    "Ok, look and go after Schattemon, the quest begins here," as she conjures this scene of endless plains and a small town behind a knoll, it begins to grow and envelop us.

    "No, you don't get to ask questions, you're late enough as it is. And DON'T kill each other, thank you." Her voice drowned out by the gentle breeze of our new surroundings...

    "..."

    "..."

    "Yeah."

    "Yeah."

    "Hahahahahaha."

    "HAHAHAHAHAHA."

    They braced themselves on each others shoulders and began to walk towards the beginning of a... eh, you know.

    Ask questions if it doesn't make sense.. and it probably won't...

  2. #2
    Shall I give you despair?
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    I didn't read it.

  3. #3

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    neither did i

  4. #4

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    uhhh..
    what the hell
    ya.. i dont get it at all.
    so it starts out with digimon (the same from the cartoon show in the 1990's?) and then it jumps to the present world, and then it jumps back?
    US West SC/L-arowws5
    US East SC/NL-arowws4 (rarely on)
    i forgot my old sig...

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Mob View Post
    uhhh..
    what the hell
    ya.. i dont get it at all.
    so it starts out with digimon (the same from the cartoon show in the 1990's?) and then it jumps to the present world, and then it jumps back?
    The seqeunce is true, but the location, not exactly. The RP site I'm on custom makes just about everything they do. That's why it might not make too much since, there were a few inside jokes too.

    The Digimon Chaotic Destini Rpg

    Take a look around, I was trying to build my RP skills and was randomly on the internet and found it.

  6. #6
    Grip N' Sip kurups's Avatar
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    "He's been waking up with his rod in his hands." Didn't read after this. Laughed very hard.

  7. #7
    A Light in your Darkness Pamela's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kurups View Post
    "He's been waking up with his rod in his hands." Didn't read after this. Laughed very hard.
    LOL I thought it was going to be an admonition type story on the sins and evil of ************. I really did,but laughed pretty good at it.

    As far as the storyline,your flow of thoughts needs a bit of work.You want to bring the reader along,keep them interested in what is happening,as well as what WILL happen.
    Not give up in frustration due to the stilted flow of the story.

    Your descriptiveness was excellent,yet had little to do with where you were taking the reader.All in all not a bad job.Next time concentrate a bit more on making it better to understand,or you are likely to lose the interest of the reader after the first few sentences.


    A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning!!

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by kurups View Post
    "He's been waking up with his rod in his hands." Didn't read after this. Laughed very hard.
    Congratulations, you caught the pun!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Pamela View Post
    LOL I thought it was going to be an admonition type story on the sins and evil of ************. I really did,but laughed pretty good at it.

    As far as the storyline,your flow of thoughts needs a bit of work.You want to bring the reader along,keep them interested in what is happening,as well as what WILL happen.
    Not give up in frustration due to the stilted flow of the story.

    Your descriptiveness was excellent,yet had little to do with where you were taking the reader.All in all not a bad job.Next time concentrate a bit more on making it better to understand,or you are likely to lose the interest of the reader after the first few sentences.
    I actually wrote this in a hurry to finally join in with my peers, It took me a whole 6 months to catch up and actually WRITE something. (i'm assuming that's what "stinted" means)

    Do you really mean what you say about "descriptiveness"? Cause details and I need Jesus. I have to force myself to do details. I will grow in that eventually, but only in shorter scripts.

    I'll post the remix within the next 12 hours, now if I have time.

    "He's been waking up with his rod in his hands." Said one voice. The sound barely drifted in the open air around them, but it was whispered.

    "His work ethic has slackened in some places and he's shown interest elsewhere." Said another, nodding a concerned agreement to the first speaker's statement.

    "He calls himself secretly training after hours." Spoke a deeper voice.

    "He has energy to burn for days."

    "His expression is not as light as it used to be."

    "He's been thinking when he does finally sit down."

    "Brethren, it's been decided. It's time for the talk."

    "I don't know whether or not we've been loathing for this day to come or not, but we
    damn sure have to deal with it now." Said one, and there was a pause as the collected voices thought to themselves.

    "Well, when's his next 'down' time?" Chimed one after a moment.

    "Who's turn is it to keep track?"

    "Mine," Said one voice "and it's right about... now!"

    "His attention wavers. We must be off at once. Brethen, roll out!"

    And so, the Brothers Kourtes set out to find their charge. These brawn but nimble Digimen sprinted forth into the wood. Up the treacherous incline of Mons Omega, they began their swift search. Taking care to check each safety zone that they's ordained for their pupil, they soon found him bathing. To no one's surprise, he was still holding his rod.

    "I'm near finished," called out his angelic alto with touches of bass clef, "Is something the matter?"

    "No, not at all." Said they, pausing politely away from the young digimon's location. "It's no rush, we just wanted to have a powwow with you."

    "Oh," The angel said "awesome." He stood from the water and stretched his wings, shaking the feathers to dry, fining their company more appealing than a continued bath anyways. He redonned his wrap, a toga-like white cloth which was very comfortable but seemed to rest uneasily on his skin. Throughout that time he barely laid down the small staff in his hands. The Brothers noticed this and acknowledged it with a shared glance amongst themselves.

    "Hey, how've you been feeling?" One asked.

    Demizeusmon paused in the act of drying his golden hair and looked accross the way at the Brothers. He looked down at the ground and finished drying, laying the towel on the branch of this safety zone, where it usually rested for his use.

    "I... don't really know, you know?" He said, attention still on the towel. "Things just don't feel the same anymore."

    The Brothers shared another glance. One seated himself on a rock nearby, and the others followed his lead and did the same. "Well, talk it out." Said one.

    "We're here for you." Said another.

    Demizuesmon's attention lifted from the towel and to the seated Brothers, gazing at them through the painted metal mask that shrouded his eyes. He brushed one of the laurel branches on his head out of his face as it lost its postitin and sunk down toards his forhead. He stepped forward and seated himself on the ground, feeling at ease near the Brothers enough to speak. He laid the staff accross is lap, retaining hold of it almost nervously, even still.

    "It's just something amiss. Like the balance is awry somewhere. It's been plaguing my thoughts and the sleep I do get isn't peaceful. No sleep and all, but there's still this warehouse of energy that says, 'Go do something!' To tell the truth, I'd really like to attack someone right now..." He kept his gaze direct, hoping to emphaisize the meaning of his words so that his guardians could accurately understand, "For no reason, but the thrill."

    (This is only part of the remix, for it was the only part that was remixed. It was done by my other half, and it seems I'll have to do the other half myself. It'll be a challenge to pick up on her hints and have it to continually flow)

    Have at it.
    Last edited by Crimson_Brilliance010; 03-10-2008 at 06:20 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

  9. #9
    Junior Member Annihilation's Avatar
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    i skipped to the second page and read the posts.

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